(In My Opinion) POPFit Clothing

So as a college student I’m always looking for really good athletic apparel online that won’t break the bank. As much as I love Lululemon, sometimes I simply can’t rationalize spending $100 on a pair of leggings – no matter how buttery soft they may be.

I was playing through all my friends snap stories and, because of the update, Snap now has advertising. One of the advertisements that popped up was for POPFit. They were advertising a free pair of leggings, you just had to pay shipping! And like damn, who am I to turn down free stuff without even looking into it, right?

I went to their website and found out that if you signed up for a monthly subscription you got TWO pairs of free leggings and if you cancelled the subscription after, you got to keep said free leggings.

Let me tell you something guys. I was SO skeptical about these leggings. I figured they would be cheaply made and I likely would just wear them around the house. But for $9.99 spent on shipping and handling, that’s still a hella good deal.

After picking two cute pairs, I place my order and then decide to look at the reviews. They were horrible; completely hating on this company. Complaints about cheap materials, messed up seams, and sizing that was drastically off really had me worried about these leggings.

About a week later I get the leggings in the mail, and they’re packaged relatively well. I also have a subscription to Fabletics and they are packaged similarly. So I rip these babies open and take a look at the pants and am pleasantly surprised. Seams look fine, the size looks right, and they’re pretty cute to boot. The only thing I did notice right away was that I wasn’t sure if they would pass the squat test.

For those of you who workout, I’m sure that you know what the squat test is. It’s when you squat in leggings to see if they’re see-through. Cheaply made leggings often have this issue. So I slipped the leggings on, found myself a mirror, and awkwardly did a few squats while checking out the booty. Although these leggings do feel pretty thin, I didn’t have any issue with them being see-through and I’ve got quite the booty (just sayin’).

Overall I’m pretty happy with POPFit. They are really reasonably priced at $20-25 regularly and they’re cute AF. The nice thing about getting the subscription is that every month they send you an item out of your wish list, so you get to pick what you want. They also have incentives to stay subscribed. For example, after having the subscription for two months, you get a free accessory! In a full year you get an accessory, a bonus VIP gift, and 3 pairs of leggings. Following that first year, you get a free accessory every month for being a “Diamond Member.”

I’m not sure what the accessories are like because I only ordered my two free leggings, but if you’d like a review let me know in the comments! Pictures of the leggings are below!

As always, love ya tons,

RanDee

How Social Media is Slowly Ruining our Fitness and Health

As most of you know, I’m a very busy college girl.  I’m hoping that soon that won’t be the case, because I’m graduating within the next year.  However, that’s never an excuse to not be as healthy as I can be.  And I’m not saying that I don’t use it as an excuse sometimes (I say as I take a large sip, borderline chug, of my Octorock Hard Cider).  I’m just acknowledging that it’s some bullshit.

Let’s be honest here, I have spent a lot of time not prioritizing my health lately.  Other things have taken top spots on things that I find to be most important: grades (actually important), attractive guys (probably not so important), work (actually important), sleep (important to an extent ie stop sleeping for twelve hours, RanDee), binge watching Netflix (definitely not so important), and writing (very important considering it’s what I want to do with my entire life) have all influenced my lack of prioritizing fitness and health lately.  Don’t judge me with those judgy eyes.

We both know that you’ve done it too . . . hypocrite.

The thing is, my dear readers, that if you don’t prioritize your goals then slowly your motivation to meal prep or to go to the gym will fall off the grid.  You have got to remember why you started, because it’s incredibly important.  At one point or another, this goal was the most important goal you had and there was a very clear reason for that.  For some reason or another, your goal was important.  You can’t let anything or anyone deter you from that.

Recently, I’ve been taking note of how much time I spend scrolling through Facebook and Instagram and it’s actually disgusting.  The other day, I was at the gym sitting on my mat scrolling through Facebook.  I wasn’t even working out.  At that point why even go to the gym?

In order to succeed, your fitness and health needs to be (at least) top five in your life.  Binge watching Stranger Things season two should not be a real priority.  I’m serious.  Put the remote down.

Put the remote down, put your cell phone down, close your laptop.  Unplug.

I spend an absurd amount of time on social media, and I realize that maybe if I wasn’t on these sites and apps so much that maybe I would be able to prioritize more important things.  Maybe if I wasn’t worried about catching up on Shameless, not only would I be more healthy and fit, but I would probably also be a little more knowledgeable about the world around me.  We get so sucked up in these things and watching other people live that we don’t actually remember to live our own lives.

I think that a huge part of having social media is so that other people believe that our lives are not dull and boring, but our reliance on social media is what is starting to be the reason for our lives being dull and boring.  We don’t go out as much, we don’t see friends in person as much, we don’t explore new places as much; other people do these things for us.  It’s time to stop letting your friends live for you.

I’m challenging you today to be conscious of how much time you actually spend on social media.  You might actually be surprised by it.  Then, tomorrow, take that same amount of time and do something productive.  Uncomplicate yourself.  Live a life that’s full of genuine interaction.  I know I will.

Tah-tah for now my dears, I’m off to better myself. 😉

-RanDee

 

P.C. – William Iven

Can You Lose Weight Without Working Out?

*Disclaimer: I am not a personal trainer nor am I suggesting I am in any way.  These suggestions are based on my own personal fitness journey.

Alright you guys, so I got an e-mail this week from a reader asking what she should be doing to lose weight.  As flattered as I am that she took the time to e-mail me, I’m definitely not a personal trainer and can’t give her any concrete advice as to what she should or shouldn’t be doing; however, I can tell you what I’ve come to learn in my own journey as well as seeing other people’s’ journeys.

In this e-mail, my reader asked if working out was actually necessary to lose weight.  The simple answer that I have to that question is no.  You don’t technically need the gym to lose weight specifically.  That’s technically what I should be saying.  I can’t condone that response though, you guys!  Are you kidding me?  How long have you been reading this blog?

Go to the gym.  Plain and simple.

Yes, yes, yes.  You can lose weight without the gym.  No, no, no, it’s probably not what you’re thinking you want in the long run.  I know from personal experience the side-effects of losing weight.  I’ve lost thirty pounds.  The thing about losing weight is that you need to tighten your body as it happens.  You definitely can lose weight by changing your eating habits, but in order to have a fit body, you need to work for it.

When I was starting this journey I was 198lbs and very much in need of a lifestyle change.  I drastically changed my eating habits as well as drastically changing my workouts.

Think about it this way: you can lose 10lbs in two months by eating healthy or you can lose 10lbs in one month by eating healthy and working out to keep your body toned.  Working out increases your metabolism and helps you burn fat faster and that can really make all the difference in reaching your goals.

It’s all about what you want to achieve and how soon you want to achieve it.  I promise you, there will never be a time when you go to the gym and regret it, so my advice to you is to workout as well as eat healthy.  It’s a tried-and-true solution to all your fitness problems.  I’m not saying you have to be at the gym for two hours a day, but an hour at the gym even every other day will help aid your weight-loss and keep your metabolism pumping.

Just trust me, it’s worth it.

Plus, and you will probably never hear me say this again so listen up . . . working out can actually be sort of fun sometimes.  There’s honestly nothing like hitting a fitness goal.  Try it and see for yourself.

Anyway, it’s 1:39 in the morning here so I should probably be getting some sleep, because (and repeat after me) sleep is important.

Tah tah for now,

RanDee

Do it for the Insta Post

For the past couple weeks I’ve been very wishy-washy about going to the gym and not eating pizza twelve times a day, and it’s always such a depressing feeling.  Normally when classes start back up for me (I’m a senior in college), I get my life together and start scheduling out my days so that I’m less stressed, but it seems like this semester has been worse than others.  #senioritis anyone?

Anyway, I feel like when I’m feeling really down about my fitness goals I turn to social media.  My fitness Pinterest board has over 1000 saved pins and at least 50% of the people I follow on my Instagram (@squatlikeagirlblog *wink*) are related to fitness or clean eating in some way.  If you log on to social media and see nothing but people partying, eating out, and watching Netflix then you’ll party, eat out, and watch Netflix.  If you log on and see people making healthy choices and working out and flexing their muscles then you’ll want to work out and eat healthy and flex your muscles – FACT.

This brings me to my major point for the day: if you’re doing it and committing to making healthy choices, it might be a good idea to make yourself a social media account through Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, or Twitter.  It’s the best way to keep yourself accountable, especially if you don’t have the luxury of having a personal trainer.  People on the internet want to see you succeed, because that shows them that they might be able to do it, too.

The whole reason I got my schedule together this week is because I knew it had been a while since I made my last post, and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to play off the fact that I haven’t gone to the gym in literally ten days.  Nobody wants to brag about how much they suck, amirite?  Nobody’s perfect and we all need rest days (maybe not ten in a row, but hey).  The important part is that I own up to it to all of my followers and get back in control of my life.

People like you, my wonderful reader, are why I’ve stuck out this long.  Obviously, I’m doing this more for myself than anything else.  I want to make a positive change in my life.  Having an influence on others, though, is something I don’t take lightly.  I know that some of you may be reading this because you need some fitspiration.  I know that some of you may be reading this because you want someone to push you to better yourself.  I know that some of you may be reading this laughing about how I’ll never actually reach my goals because I love pizza too much.  All of those reasons are fine with me, but I do this because I want y’all to know that I am doing it, and you can do it, too.  I can tell you from experience, there is nothing like hitting a huge milestone in your fitness journey.  Some of my proudest moments have been made in the gym.

So, if you’re doing this like I am, be an inspiration to someone else who needs you.  We’re slowly making the world a healthier, happier place and we’re changing lives, even though we may not realize it.  The next time you hit a fitness goal, post about it.  You getting excited will make others get excited about their own goals and we should all be trying to lift each other up.  It’s a good reminder for your followers that they need to value their health.

I hope y’all have a fabulous, active day.

-RanDee

 

How to Stay Motivated in a World Full of Sprinkle Donuts

So I’ve been at this weight-loss journey for almost a year now and I’ve only lost 35lbs.  It’s  hard to think about it that way, because it forces me to come to the harsh reality that I’m not where I could be.  Had I really forced myself to stick to my plan I could have probably already hit my 55lb goal, plus some.

Motivation is the absolute hardest part about losing weight or getting fit and it’s also the most important part.  Some people say your eating habits or your workouts outweigh everything else, but that’s very wrong.  Without motivation, you’re going to fail on both sides of the spectrum.

At the beginning of my journey  I worked with Janelle (my personal trainer), and therefore the motivation was always there.  I would have check-ins every week and she was going to be able to tell if I was slacking off.  After those three months working with Janelle, though, my motivation went from “YES GIRL.  GET IT.  YOU IS STRONG.  YOU IS POWERFUL.  YOU IS GONNA KILL IT.” to “Screw the gym, I need a burrito.”  It was always fluctuating.

As much as I wish I had the power to say no to everything and stick to my goal 100%, I just don’t.

And that is okay.

Yes, I would be so much farther along had I said no to all the greasy pizza and the whiskey cokes, but I don’t want to give it all up.  I personally would rather be losing weight slow and steady than be missing out on things that I enjoy.  As long as I’m still going to the gym (for the most part) and eating healthy (for the most part) then I’m going to keep progressing.  There is nothing wrong with focusing on enjoying yourself occasionally, as long as you don’t let it derail your entire journey.  However, you have to remember that you’re doing this for a reason, whatever that reason may be, and at some point you thought that reason outweighed everything else.  You have to remind yourself why you started and get back on track.

There is no trick to having motivation 100% of the time.  Even professional athletes take time off.  It’s what you do when you get back that really matters.  So next time you want a sprinkle donut, go ahead.  Don’t deny yourself a sprinkle donut; but make sure it’s just one and then get your ass to the gym for a killer workout.

xoxo,

RanDee

How to Work Kiddos Into Your Workouts

As a college student trying to ball on a budget, I often nanny for this great family near where I live.  I’ve been doing it for over a year now, and the two little girls (A and M) are great.  Normally, as most people who know me know, I’m not typically a huge “kids” girl, but these girls are really sweet and they listen really well.

The last couple times I’ve nannied for this family, it’s been in the middle of my journey to get fit.  Because of the way my schedule worked out today, I have to nanny until 3:30 and then I work at 4, leaving no time in-between for the gym.

So instead of going to the gym, I brought the gym to me and to the girls I nanny.  At first they were like, “No, RanDee, this is stupid.”  But trust me, they’ll have fun and it’s a great way to include them.

Today we started with a little bit of yoga for stretching, then we moved on to wall sits, squats, and lunges.  The girls had a blast climbing around and they made my workout extra difficult.

This goes as a reminder that, no matter what you’re doing, there are definitely ways to work in workouts (<– see what I did there?).  Below are a few photos I took during the workout, just in case you’d like some ideas for you and your own kiddos, or maybe the kiddos you nanny for.

Anyways, I am still nannying currently and have a dance party to attend.  As always, have a fabulous and fit day.

-RanDee

NANNY WORKOUT

 

Finding Your Fitness Motivation

Okay, as someone who has been struggling with her fitness and weight for pretty much the entirety of her life, I have looked at weight loss from every angle possible.  Motivation essentially comes from having a reason to workout and eat healthy that outweighs your reasons not to and trust me . . . there are plenty of excuses.

One of the major things I’ve noticed is that everyone encourages you to lose weight and get healthy for the right reasons.  I’m here to tell you that I don’t agree with that whatsoever.  I am a huge proponent of doing things because you want to do them and for whatever reason.  Something you see a lot of nowadays is that to be successful in fitness you have to “do it for you and only you.”  And congratulations to the women out there who are strictly losing weight for health reasons.  Literally, good for you, you must have confidence of steel.  BUT.  I am sick and tired of seeing people being belittled because of their motivations for getting fit and prioritizing a healthy lifestyle.

Honestly, we as a society have prided ourselves on body positivity, but I’ve been seeing so much of people saying, “Oh you’re losing weight to look good in your wedding photos?  That’s not healthy.”  “Oh, you’re eating healthy because you want to feel better in your clothes?  That’s not healthy.”  Why isn’t that healthy?

The last time I went to the doctors they obviously told me that in the long-run I might want to consider hitting the gym more often, but that it isn’t impacting my health at all.  I am completely healthy as of right now.  Obviously that doesn’t mean that I can’t improve, and it doesn’t necessarily mean I have to make these huge life changes.

I am making these changes because of my self-confidence.  It’s actually kind of crazy.  I was much thinner in high school, but because of some of my peers I was very shy and never really stood up for myself.  I gained a lot of weight when I got to college, and I was still so shy that it was hard to make new friends.

And then I lost 30lbs.

And now I’m way more confident.

I’m not nearly as thin as I was in high school, but having that success and seeing myself progress has been really great for me.  I still have days where I look and the mirror and think I look awful, but everyone has those days.  And the good days outweigh the bad.  So I’m here to tell you to latch onto whatever you have right now that motivates you.  Hot guy at work?  Fuel the fire, girl.  Hot bikini you want to wear to the beach?  FUEL THE FIRE, GIRL.  Do it for the cutie, do it for the beach, do it for your health, do it for your confidence, do it for your family, do it for literally anything, but make sure that you go out and do it.

Because once you commit, it becomes an addiction and you become an inspiration to others who might need it — and that’s just as important as doing it for yourself.

#doitforwhateverthehellyouwanttodoitfor

XOXO,

RanDee

IMG_0116

Why I Changed My Blog Name

So for the past month or so I’ve been considering deleting my blog.  Surprisingly enough, when you put a ton of work into something and it doesn’t turn out how you expect it’s a little disheartening.

I love to travel.  Just last week I went camping out-of-state at Hocking Hills State Park in Ohio.  My roommate and I went horseback riding through the hills, tanned on the beach and Rose Lake, and explored the waterfalls in Old Man’s Cave.

But I didn’t have the excitement I had at the beginning about sharing my adventure, and that’s because the popularity doesn’t seem to be growing.

As I was scrolling through content yesterday, I noticed something.  My blog posts about travel were barely getting any hits, but my blog posts about my recent weight loss were off the charts.  It was what people wanted to read about (see one of my very first progress picture below), and it’s something that I enjoy writing about.

This made me really think about why I recently got so interested in travel.  Before this past year I had no inclination to go anywhere.  I realized that the reason for this was a result of my fitness.  Suddenly I wanted to go hiking and exploring all over the world, not only because I now thought my body could physically handle it but because this fitness journey has given me the confidence to pursue what I want.

Hiking is a form of exercise and a product of healthy living, so I’ve revamped my entire blog to refocus.  If a blog about weight loss, fitness, and regaining confidence is what the people want, it’s what they’re going to get.  If I do happen to go on a trip that I want to share with my readers, I still can because it’s simply proof to them that fitness can help in multiple outlets of your life.  It can increase your happiness, your confidence, and your ability to do things you never thought you could do.

I’m currently in the process of updating my Instagram (@squatlikeagirlblog) and my Snapchat (@randee_hartman) to convey these changes to my followers, so be patient with me.  In the meantime, take some time to think about your personal health and fitness goals (and share this on social media to help ya girl out).

Let’s see where this road takes me.

xoxo,

RanDee

SYXR4158

My 12 FAVE Fitness Tips and Hacks to Help You Stick to Your Goals

Every year around this time, the gym gets a little busier.  June is three months away and people are now going into panic mode.  They had one too many pizzas and where did these stomach rolls come from?!

Oh, right.  The twelve pieces of pizza I just ate.  EL. OH.  EL.

I feel ya, homies, and I’m here for you.

I started my fitness journey about four months ago-ish, and trust me, sticking to it may have been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done.  There are days when you just cannot.  Actually, erase that thought from your head because on those days when you just cannot, you actually can you lazy bum.

Now obviously, I’m kidding.  You’re not a lazy bum.  If you were, you wouldn’t be reading this.  #proudofyou

So, I’m here today to tell you what helped me stick to my fitness goals.  There are a lot of contributors, but these ones were the most important and really kept me focused.

  1. Have a support squad.  I know you’re all probably super sick of hearing me say this, but it is so important.  I had this group of friends who knew where I was at when I started and how much progress I was making, and if they caught me cheating they’d kick my ass.  However, they were also the group of people I could turn to when I was feeling down and they would help lift me back up again.  They help remind you why you started, and they will be your biggest motivator.
  2. If possible, invest in a personal trainer.  My trainer was Janelle Tank from Nell Nation Fitness in Lapeer, MI.  She is amazing, and the best part is that she works with people online and over the phone.  There is absolutely no way I would have made it this far without her.  I learned from her for three months and she’s completely changed my life.  Even just talking to someone on the phone for thirty minutes once a week can really motivate you to push yourself.  Plus, it’s nice to have meal plans and workouts already prepared for you if you, like me, don’t have a lot of spare time in a week to plan.  Seriously, look into it.
  3. Make. A. Schedule. I know it sucks.  I work and go to school full time, so my schedule is all sorts of madness.  It does not matter.  Sit down for ten minutes, look at your week, and write down what days you are going to go into your planner.  There is just something about having it written down and planned for that will keep you accountable.
  4. Try protein shakes and pre-workout.  Yes, good protein shakes and pre-workout are expensive and they will differ based on your needs.  My advice?  If you don’t have a handy dandy personal trainer like I did (thanks Janelle, you da bomb), then hit your local GNC and ask them what they would recommend for you.  Protein shakes will not make you bulky, I promise.  In fact, they’ll help with your soreness and help keep you full throughout the day so you don’t have those pesky cravings.  And yes, I know, there is some negativity surrounding pre-workout.  I have to say, though, that it has helped me immensely.  I feel much more ready to workout when I take it, and I sweat a lot more, too.  Somehow, for me at least, that is super satisfying.
  5. Bring a friend.  My friends come to the gym with me all the time.  It makes working out fun.  We get to the gym and we gossip and catch up on things in our lives.  It’s like going for drinks with a friend, except without the booze.  Plus, you’re probably helping them stick to their fitness goals as much as they’re helping you.
  6. If you screw up (and you will), accept it and move on.  Exactly five hours ago I ate pancakes for breakfast.  They were delicious and I do not regret them.  Immediately after, I went to the gym, cranked out a good workout, and will stick to my meal plan strictly for the next week with no cheat meal.  Yes, I screwed up.  No, I do not hate myself for it.  You can’t be perfect, because it’s impossible.  Plus, you deserved those pancakes, just saying.
  7. Be unreasonable.  Okay, this actually isn’t my fitness hack.  It belongs to my personal trainer, Janelle.  It’s helpful, though, so I have to include it.  Every time you read things about fitness, they say to make your goals reasonable.  No, no, no.  Why would you want to set yourself up to be mediocre?  Obviously, even the slightest progress is amazing, and you should always be proud of yourself.  BUT, that doesn’t mean you should give yourself a cop out when it comes to your goals.  When you tell someone your goal, they should say, “You’re crazy.”  Because you should believe that there isn’t anything you can’t do.
  8. Take progress pictures.  Yes, I know.  It sucks so bad.  When I took my first ever progress picture I was like, “Ew.  Gross.”  It sucks, and it sucks, and it sucks, and then suddenly it doesn’t suck.  Suddenly you get to say, “Wow, you are such a bad ass.”  And you will feel incredible and you will be totally happy that you took those pictures, because now you can really see the progress you’ve made and you can share it on Instagram and people will be like, “Dang, you are the bees knees.”  Okay, probably not in those words, but you get the idea.
  9. Sleep in your workout clothes.  Okay, ew, no.  I am not saying workout and then sleep in your sweat-drenched clothes all night.  That is disgusting.  I’m saying, if you workout in the mornings, sleep in your workout clothes.  This gives you an extra ten minutes to sleep in and means you have so much less to do in the morning.  Also, if you do drink pre-workout, make it the night before and pop it into the fridge so you’re all ready in the morning.
  10. Add frozen fruit to your water.  Water is LIFE, people.  You need to drink it all day, every day.  And if you’re super picky and don’t like things that taste like nothing (a.k.a. you are me), you add frozen fruit to your water and then everything is rainbows and butterflies.  Cross my heart.  Rainbows.  And.  Butterflies.
  11.  Track EVERYTHING.  Track your water intake.  Track your steps.  Track your calorie intake.  Track your exercise.  Track your weight.  Write it down.  Or if you don’t want to write it down, there are about a million apps for all of the above.  Find one you like, and track it.  I know it’s tedious.  Just do it, okay?
  12. Think fruit.  If you are like me and are binge watching Shameless at two in the morning while swiping through Tinder, you have those pesky late-night cravings. You want everything and anything that begins with chocolate and ends with more chocolate.  Honestly, though, your body is just craving sugar.  You know what is something that has a lot of natural sugar that will make you feel 100% less guilt after eating it?  That’s right.  Fruit!

 

And there you have it, y’all.  My tips and hacks for getting fit and dieting.  Obviously everyone is different.  But hopefully this will get you started on your journey.  And of course, as always, leave your comments below to let me know how they work for you or if you have any genius health hacks to share.

Have a fabulous day,

-R

skinny fit

 

 

The Dirty Truth About Getting Fit, Finding Love, and Respecting Yourself

This year is my senior year of college and, as of October, 2016, I had gained 39lbs since arriving freshman year.  Lack of all the sports I did in high school plus terrifying eating habits resulted in nearly forty pounds of weight gain.

Last summer I made excuses every time someone asked me to hit the beach because I hated the way I looked.  All the cute tops I had made their way into a laundry bag hidden deep in my closet, replaced by baggy sweatshirts.

Summer 2016 a few girlfriends of mine got together and put together this list of things we wanted to accomplish throughout the summer.  Running a 5k, losing weight, gaining muscle definition, being more confident, going after what we wanted, etc. etc.  Typical new year resolutions in the middle of June.  Although we did stick to going to the gym, we weren’t 100% dedicated to our cause.  Casual drinking and occasional baking put a huge wrench in a lot of progress.

When school started back up again I can’t say I kept up with everything.  My main excuses were that I was too busy with classes and I needed to focus on getting good grades.  Plus, eating healthy was way too expensive (by the way, that’s a dirty lie).

In November 2016 I met my personal trainer.  One of my friends introduced us and I realized that it was now or never.  I needed to focus on my body and treating myself with respect.

Everyone who knows me knows I’m a ridiculous romantic.  I believe in grand gestures and soulmates.  I believe in finding someone who completes who you are as a person.  It wasn’t until November that I realized something really important; you have to respect yourself and find who you are as an individual before you can expect someone else to come into the picture.

Surprisingly enough, with a few good friends and a fabulous personal trainer on my side, I hit the gym and started meal prepping.  It became this sort of outlet for me.  Stressed?  Hit the gym.  Sad?  Meal prep.  Angry?  Weight train.  Worried?  Look on Pinterest for motivational gym quotes.  Every time I needed an escape, I looked towards this goal.  Even currently, I want more than anything to be able to love myself.

It has been three months since I started this fitness journey, and I’ve lost 30 lbs (photo below).  I’ve lost thirty pounds and everyone around me tells me I look incredible.  I have people contact me to tell me that I’m an inspiration.  The dirty truth, though, is that although I clearly see the changes I’ve made, when I look in the mirror I don’t see any change in the way I look at myself.  Although I know I’ve made a ton of progress (I have the ugly ass stretch marks to prove it), I don’t see 30lbs of weight loss.  I still see the same person I was before I lost the weight, and it’s heartbreaking.  But what gets me though all of this negativity and self-doubt are the women who stand by me and constantly lift me up.  My best friends who come to work and say, “Can I just give you a hug?  I’m so proud of you.” and the best friends who text me and say, “I know you don’t need me to tell you I’m proud but I really am and you deserve some recognition.”  I do need you to tell me these things, because you all make me feel like what I’m doing is worth it.  I’m getting my confidence back and I’d like to say it’s all because of me, but a lot of it has to do with the support of my friends.

In the past couple months I’ve been compromising what I want in a relationship because I haven’t had the balls to fight for myself.  I haven’t had the respect for myself.  Yesterday, a good friend of mine made me realize that I deserve grand gestures and attention.  I haven’t given up on that, but I’ve given up on trying to change myself to fit what others want me to be.  Although I still believe in soulmates and true love, I no longer believe in finding my other half.  As it turns out, I’m a whole all by myself.

 

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